Pluses and Minuses

In the past 24 hours, I have eaten entirely too much. I have also, however, had enough water to drink for the first time in months. I am shamed by the food, redeemed by the water. I think I'll declare it a wash.

So the days until SB leaves are becomign fewer and fewer. Stupid boy. The sad thing is, a part of me is looking forward to it. Not really, but kind of. I'll miss him, yes, but I'll also have so much more time. I can read again. The idea! Reading!! I can go to bed at 10:30 if I'm tired, I can knit my lovely shawl. I mean, really. This shawl is going to be gorgeous. I can play the Sims 2 for hours (I think SB might be getting me "Open for Business" as well, as I've decided I must have it and would be willing to not eat a meal or two in order to afford it), and not feel guilty. I can watch hours of tv and not care about whether or not he likes the show. I can do yoga and try out the belly dancing video on OnDemand.

I'm not saying it won't be hard and I won't be sad. But I haven't had to be independent since I graduated from college. Which is a little strange, I know, but hey. Of course, I also won't really be able to eat, and that's no fun. But oh well. I'm sure I'll make it.

I've Got the Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy....... [where?]

Well, after nearly two lovely weeks off, I have returned again to the belly of the beast. Okay, that may be a BIT extreme, but whatever. I thought on the way in this morning that I was actually kind of glad to be returning to my usual routine, but now not so much.

I was listening to my old Christian music cd's. And I know that everyone, my mother included, thinks that Christian music automatically equals sappy crap, but some of it is actually good music. And I'm tired of feeling like I have to defend my faith. Which I know is me, but it's also the radical right-wings with whom I don't want to be affiliated. So when I mention CSF, I'm always like, "It wasn't one of those kind of groups." But thinking about it, I don't even know what "those" kind of groups would be or how any Christian group I've been involved in wouldn't be one. Because really, every Christian group I tested out, even if I ultimately didn't go there, was pretty darn nice and welcoming. Why is there such a stigma? Even the groups where I disagreed with 90% of what they believed went out of their way to make me feel welcome. This isn't to say that these groups don't have the problems lots of groups have. CSF was notoriously clique-y. The houses got into HUGE spats. People were judgemental. But if you really needed help and let them know, they'd do a lot to be there for you. So yes. I'm going try and stop saying Christian groups are not "that type of group." And I'm going to stop feeling like I have to say, "Oh, I'm not THAT kind of Christian." People who know me should know that I'm not a crazy right-winger, and the ones who dismiss me that easily for my faith are probably not people I want to know anyways. And I've been realizing more and more how important that faith is to me, and I want to have joy (not necessarily happiness, but joy), and thinking that all this will work out for something good is all that is keeping me from going nuts at work, so...

CW just told me that Austin Grill is participating in Restaurant Week. What?! Who is going Austin Grill (or Hard Rock Cafe) for RW? Seriously, people. Spend your money better.

Back to DC.

Well, I'm back in DC. I didn't really want to go. I never do. My mom has declared that I need to come home for long enough to want to leave. I was glad to get back to Cassie and SB. SB was jealous because he stopped in to check on Cassie yesterday and she hissed at him and then didn't care that he was there. Then, when I got home, she ran over to me, and then got so excited, she ran around the apartment. It was pretty cute. She now is sleeping by my feet.

The whole Christmas time was fun, but insanely busy. I did get to see a plethora of high school friends. It was so bizarre. We all went to eat after picking up my brother and sil and ran into my dad's old partner's daughter. I went to elementary school with her, and then didn't really see her again except at her dad's funeral (he died from complications with a bone marrow transplant) in high school. Then I ran into another girl I hadn't seen since elementary school at the movie theater. Then, of course, there were the people I made an effort to see. There are really only three of them, two who are sisters, which isn't a huge number of people. But then there is Haley, WHO GOT ENGAGED FOR CHRISTMAS!!! I am so incredibly happy for her. She had a little party that I tagged along to, where I met her fiance (so strange to say) and got to see Jules, whom I haven't seen since hte summer after I graduated from college, and Molly (same), and caught up on news of others I haven't seen in forever. Oh, and Haley's going to be supporting herself and totally rocks, so go buy her cd. It was a little strange being there at the party. These people all stayed close to home for college, so they stayed in touch. So they're all like, remember that time a week ago, and I'm all like, remember in seventh grade... And I forget that people who stay around my hometown tend to have a different worldview. I love them and they are some of the most genuinely nice people I have met. But it's so incredibly different than people around DC. One of my friends was talking about this girl's jerky boyfriend and how he's had sex with other girls. This part was whispered, like sex was a bad word or something. It was funny. And a little confusing. I was never sure if he was cheating on her because she wouldn't sleep with him, which would be horrible and ridiculous, or if he had just had sex before in her life.

A and D, the sisters, are funny and doing well, as always, though A doesn't like her job, so we commiserated together. Even though she makes like two-and-a-half times what I do... D has a child in her class who claims (and his mom agrees) that he's possessed by the devil. He, obviously, is a bit of a handful and making her second year of teaching not so great.

Sigh. I was just looking at Haley's myspace. I'm so happy for her. I can't wait for the wedding, which will be LOADS of fun. And her ring is HUGE. Her fiance freaking found the diamond for it on the sidewalk when he was six. How crazy is that? Where is my diamond on the street?!

Merry Christmas/ Happy Holidays!!!

Well, I realize I've been a bad blogger and not updated for nearly 10 days. It's hard running a blog, a social life, an office, and a grad school application process. And then getting sick. Twice. Luckily, I am now done with the grad school applications! (YAY!!!!) Except for mailing in one hard copy that is waiting on getting my last recommendation in the mail. And I'm basically well, though I felt AWFUL on Thursday. Luckily, I made it home and probably infected everyone on both my planes, but what else is Christmas about?

Last weekend was my sister-in-law's brother's wedding. He lives around DC and they are the nicest family ever, so SB and I were invited to everything. It was just lovely. The wedding was beautiful, even if the music was a little hokey. But the hokey music was done by long-time family friends of the bride, so it was all good. The reception was GORGEOUS. Thousands of twinkle lights everywhere, very classy centerpieces. The only bad part about the whole thing was the catering service was not good. At one point, the brother of the bride was going around to the tables and picking up dirty dishes... Not good. The other, me-related issue was all underwear related. I had on one of those bra/slip/stomach-suck-iny things and it either peeked through the neck of my dress, or slid down until stuff was poking out the top and I had those horrible strapless bra lines. The groom's aunt totally saw me trying to heave it up, but oh well. I think it entertained her.

And I got to hang out some with Erik, who is an English PhD student, so that was fun, and Jonathan, my brother's giant college roommate who is now dating a girl still in undergrad. The girlfriend was also nice, just very young... And, as promised, there was ethnic dancing. It was all just fun.

Now I am home. My brother and SIL are here, too, and my grandma gets here today and my grandparents here tomorrow. My mom is on complete overkill mode and we have to bake everything today. The only dark spots are that I miss my cat... and that I found out that SB is indeed going to have to go abroad for a month, leaving less than a week after we get back from the holidays. He tried to get out of it for a number of reasons, but it looks like they really want him to go. Poop. But we shall not think about that. Instead, we shall concentrate on Christmas and family and not having to be back at work for over a week!

Since I probably won't have time to write tomorrow, merry Christmas, everyone!!

Yes, Virginia...

So I've decided I'm going to believe in Santa again. I remember believing in Santa. I remember how magical everything was. I remember sitting up Christmas Eve, straining to hear hooves on the roof. I remember being SO excited I could hardly sleep. And I'm going back to that model.

Some of you may be asking yourselves, "How is she going to go back to a previous period in her life?" Well, I realize that I can't become a child again. I can act like a child, though. And I know that I can't unlearn knowledge. But I can forget about it if I want to. And I feel my life could use a little magic right now. (I got the maximum raise my boss's structure will allow!!! Which is miniscule and I got that raise because she pities my small salary and I still make a tiny amount and can't afford food or clothing and can't rent an apartment without my parents or put any money into savings for grad school...) So magic is good.

What else is good? The hot cider at Gadsby's Tavern is AMAZING. I liked it with rum. The carolers there during the holidays, also very nice. Walking down King Street when the lights are up and there is a nice crisp feel to the air? Very holiday-y. Finding the PERFECT present for my mom was great. Being knocked on my ass for the past five days and sleeping basically the whole day before doing any of those things was not so great. In fact, I can say that being sick at the holidays definitely sucks. Luckily, after missing two days of work and sleeping INSANE numbers of hours, I am getting well.

Also, Cassie is no longer Coney (she doesn't have to wear her cone anymore. SB called her Coney while she did), and she seems very glad of that fact. Now I just have to figure out what to do with her over the holidays...

Prudes beware

I do not feel well at all. CW has already left. She heard someone else on our floor throwing up in the bathroow. I think there may be something going around. And the worst part is that today is horribly cold. Well, not horribly, but when you've had no period of acclimation and have had the ambient temperature drop 40 degrees in one week, it seems freezing. Plus the wind whips over the water near my office and makes it feel much worse than it is. When you add to all that illness... AND SB, whom I'm mad at anyways, can't even pick me up from the metro, meaning I get to add a climb up a steep hill to all my time in the outdoors. And my rib hurts. Just the one on my right, but it's an occasional throbbing and I don't enjoy it. I will, however, survive.

Luckily, I can space for the few remaining minutes of the day and sign our Holiday cards. Because New Guy, who we don't like much, decided we should personally sign all the cards we send out. Nevermind that last year we didn't even send any out. And since he picked out dark cards, we had to buy silver pens to use. He made me call the paper store near him and ask if they had them. What decent paper store doesn't have silver pens? I mean, come on... The people at the paper store laughed at me for even calling and asking.

Plus on [redacted] (the new Daily Dump blog), there is a guest poster who complained because one of his exes wanted him to go down on her so much. I realize this is a sensitive topic for some. But the whole thing frustrates me, mainly because I'm SURE this guy and several other blog-guys I know would throw a hissyfit if their girlfriend/random girl they picked up at a bar/on a corner wouldn't go down on them. I mean, really. If you listen to these guys, they talk about how giving head is "cleaner," somehow "more sanitary." Um... why? If you think about it, the same kinds of issues are going on in each region. We all pee down there, people! (Pee, by the way, is an antiseptic.) I think the real reason is that guys are selfish and squeamish. Well, I say no more of it! Tit for tat, everyone!! I'm calling on all girls who are involved in such activities to demand equality in such arenas. Stop being prudish! And men, suck it up. Both literally and figuratively.

Cone Kitty

My roses are opening very nicely. I'm going to take them home tomorrow so I can enjoy them over the weekend.

I made the mistake of looking to see whether or not I can safely take Cassie's cone off early. I can't let her run around freely because I'm worried she'll get stuck somewhere with it (she's already nearly gotten stuck under the bed and actually got stuck on the window ledge). So she's crazy every night and morning when I free her from the closet. Plus she can't groom properly (she tries, but just winds up grooming the cone as if it were her) and I can only do so much. I'd really like to take it off her, at least for a bit. BUT I googled to try and find out if cats actually will try to tear out their stitches, especially this far in the healing process, and I came across the most horrible story that makes me want to run home and make sure she's okay and cuddle her. This family adopted a cat and had her spayed. She tore out her stitches (this seems to be the only real example I've found of a cat tearing them out), so they put her in a cone. I don't really think the cone has anything to do with the rest of it, but the writer mentioned it as if it had something to do with it. One night, their beloved kitty starts crying and meowing like mad. Later the kitten's intestines explode out somehow and the poor thing had to be put to sleep. I know this has to be extremely rare and I know that Cassie's fine, but still. And EWWW...

Beyond the massive wildness and the dealing with the cone, Cassie seems to have adjusted quite well to her changed state. She's actually even friendlier than she was before. We did have another incident with her bed. I made the mistake of giving it back to her and she then had an accident on the floor. So I threw it out. No bed for you!

Four years and counting

Four years. Today is my and SB's four year anniversary. He already sent me lovely roses at work, which seemed to strangely surprise my boss. We have no big plans for tonight, but this weekend, we're going to Gadsby's. They're having carolers during the holiday on Friday and Saturday nights. It shall be tres cute.

It's weird thinking that it's been four years. Not just because it means SB and I have been together FOREVER (Who would have thought that I'd date someone four years and still not be married or engaged or planning to do either in the near future?), but because that semester doesn't seem like that long ago. I was in college, living in Collins with all my friends around me. That was the year that everyone lived in college. We had the Michelles in a room, Emily not too far, Whitney down the hall. I was still friends with Peggy and Clare. This would be the time of year for the Dicken's dinner, although junior year was the year the dinner kept being postponed until it was a weak copy of what it should have been. I was so happy then.

And now it's been four years. Poor SB has seen me go through SO much crap, enough that it really has screwed up my health. I lived in England for a while (I missed that year's Dicken's dinner, but exchanged it for a Christmas dinner in Hall where we all stood on our chairs and sang "Teddy Bears' Picnic"), finished school, graduated, tried to find my identity outside of being a student, moved home, moved away from home, got a job, hated my job, got another job, hated that job, too. And I am slowly learning to be happy anyways, even in circumstances that I hate. It's like we talked about in CSF once or twice (during the "fruit of the Spirit" session), joy is not dependent upon happiness. It's good that I'm learning this, because SB tends to feel that he SHOULD be able to make me happy, no matter what else is going on.

He has been with me through all of that and he is so sweet and tries so hard. And really. What more could you ask?

Poor kitty

Well my little kitty can have kittens no longer. She came through surgery and was up trying to play last night. It is pretty pathetic, though. They're making her wear one of those cones on her head. Not only does she have to wear it, she has to wear it for a whole TEN days. She keeps hitting it on stuff and then it scares her. This morning, I let her out of the closet for a bit. She hit it on my suitcase and then literally hopped across the room. She made it in only a few bounds, too. It would have been impressive/funny if I weren't worried about the state of her stitches. And she walks funny because it's there.

CW and I have been looking for engagement rings. Not because either of us want to get engaged, but because we want the rings.

Beyond turkey

It's funny how even my body doesn't want me to go to work. Yesterday, I had a slight fever and now my stomach's being all funny. Sigh. More reasons to leave. As if I needed any.

The whole time at home was lovely. My parents are entertaining. I read two books and finished a hat, which my mom then took pictures of to show her knitting club. It was rather nice, if I do say so myself. I did a lace pattern at the bottom and the yarn itself was so pretty. And my mom bought be really nice yarn (100% silk) for the next project, which is a shawl. I'm moving on to bigger things! My dad was funny, too. Insisted on buying a really expensive tree because he wanted me to be there to pick it out. See, Thursday we went to our usual tree farm. It's about a 30-minute drive, a place where you can cut the trees yourself, though we don't because they actually ship in the ones we like (Frasier firs). But, SADNESS of SADNESS. The tree place is closing!! Not only will they not be there next year, but they didn't even ship in our trees this year! So they only had little puny ones. It was depressing. So my dad had to work on Friday and I was leaving on Saturday, but we stopped at one nursery before I left and found a big, beautiful tree. The only thing? It was $100 MORE than the ones we got from the old place. A little bigger, a little fresher yes. But $100 more?! My parents were aghast, but I had to leave for DC and my dad wanted me to pick out the tree, so... We now own a hugely expensive tree.

I also got to see my glorious friends from high school and found out a highly entertaining story about one of our classmates (she's apparently pretending she was 'most popular' and a cheerleader when she was in high school, while currently coaching cheerleading and trying to get underage boys to let her wear their jerseys).

The only-not-so-fun thing was coming back to a crazy Cassie who may be going into heat and who is supposed to get spayed on Wednesday...

Happy Thanksgiving

The one bad thing about owning a cat is that now I'm conflicted about going home. See, I love being home. My parents are entertaining, the house is so soothing it's practically a vacation home, there are no street noises, no outside lights. Only peace and a lake and trees. But now, I miss Cassie. She's just so cute and adorable and I hate having to leave her by herself. I am going to be the most protective parent ever. And the night before I left, she slept all curled up in my arm. And then she got all frantic when I was leaving, like she knew I was going to be gone for a while.

My parents' cats, though? OMG, I think Felix is the biggest cat I have ever seen. He is HUGE! Which he was last time I was home. He weighed 21 pounds in June and he has gained weight. So he's long, muscular, and has a big belly. I keep making fun of him. Because, let's face it, a cat waddling is just entertaining. Particularly a waddling cat who keeps trying to run or jump.

SB is visiting Catholic couple who is, unsurpisingly but unwisely, now pregnant. I seriously question the wisdom of this, but I guess when you don't believe in birth control... See, the problem is Catholic husband is a vet who recently quit his practice to start his own. So he is currently out of work and trying ot start a business. She's a school teacher, so she'll at least have good health insurance, but not a large salary. It's just not a situation I'd like to be in.

Anyways, I'm off to finish my hat. I have to finish it so I can start on my new project that my mom bought me to day! Yay for knitting!!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

So I've about had it with this community's/city's/country's obsession with size. I've read a few too many blogger entries with lines such as, "ew... she's such a cow," and "what a bloated whale carcus" (last one's word for word). Yet a woman in Brazil DIES from being too skinny, and I don't think anyone would have made fun of the way she looks. In fact, I was frightened by the fact that I didn't think she looked that bad in the pictures I saw of her. Her BMI was 13, she weighed as much as a 12-year-old girl should, but societally? Looked normal. You know what, DC? I would rather be overweight than starving myself to fit your stupid, superficial ideas of what a woman should look like. Grow up and expand your mind like a centimeter...

Dar, How I Love Thee

Last night was the much anticipated, if not really talked about, Dar Williams' concert. Seriously, I love that woman. After the concert, I turned to SB and told him that if I were going to turn gay for any woman, it would be for her. Strangely enough, he was okay with that, as long as it was only with Dar. She did have a cold last night, so her voice was a bit raspy and by the end, you could tell it was shot. She kept coughing and had to pop some cough drops, moving her drug use from backstage to front. At the end, you felt like not applauding insanely just so she wouldn't have to do an encore. She did. Two. And called us pitiless. I was not pitiless, Dar! There was pity! The woman opening for her, Caroline someone, had an amazing voice, too. She kind of enraptured you. Very dark musical choices, but really good. And she just looked so nice. She did give me the skunk eye, as SB would say, while signing my cd's. I'm have mixed emotions about autographs, but opening the one I got for my dad for Christmas to get autographed means I can burn it onto my computer now. Whee! Then last night, I dreamt that I was friends with Dar. It was lovely. So yes, good times were had by all.

I was also greatly entertained by the three flaming gay guys sitting next to me, plus one girl. Though they were all too skinny, particularly the one next to SB, and I just wanted to force them to eat something. Like some bread pudding, which came [gasp] without ice cream or whipped cream. I was disappointed, although the pudding itself was nice. Would be better without the raisins. I am very anti-raisin, particularly in desserts. Let's not pretend they are healthy, people. Embrace the unhealthiness and don't ruin it by adding little chewy things! DOWN WITH RAISINS!!!

Frustration

So some of you may have noticed that I vanished recently. This was for a few reasons. One, last Friday was a holiday. Two, I realized Thursday that my boss would be back on Monday and therefore would expect several things to be done. Most of which she has not asked for, except for the one that I KNOW she thinks should be quick, but actually takes a bit of time, and so was not completely finished when she got back. So yes, Thursday was a little frantic. Three, I have had some kind of bug that has knocked me completely on my ass. Seriously, I spent like 80% of this weekend sleeping AND had to miss a birthday party last night out of sheer exhaustion.

I did read through some of my old writing this weekend. It was highly entertaining. See, I apparently am very good at starting stories. I mean, funny starts, highly entertaining writing style (if I do say so myself). The only thing is that I never get passed the first two or three pages. Mainly because my story ideas are not so much plotlines as character ideas. So I have all these characters that I love, but no idea what to do with them...

Also, my boredom has gotten so bad at work that the thought of banging my head against my desk doesn't sound so bad. I mean, the pain would be a distraction, the noise mildly entertaining. And it might relieve some frustration.

I'm also frustrated with SB for one main reason. He is going out of the country for work for a month or so in January. I'm not thrilled about this, but I do kind of understand. I still wish he would tell them no, because I'm not sure what this will do to our relationship and it'd be nice if he put us first, but I know he hasn't quite figured out how to tell work no, particularly when they really want him to do something. So that irks me, but not really. The real reason I'm upset is that he wants to get back to the States and IMMEDIATELY leave again to go to Florida to see his family. I mean like fly out again two or three days later for a week and a half. I know he loves his family, but still. I did the exact opposite thing when I got home from England because I wanted to spend time with him. I immediately left home to come to Indiana. He's all, "but I want to fly you out for the weekend," but we all know that that's different.

In happier thoughts, it is gingerbread latte season. Sadly, the two I have had so far have been a bit disappointing. I'm hoping it's the coffee shop I got them from and not a sign of my getting tired of gingerbread lattes... Because, seriously people. That would be a real tragedy.

Go vote!

I am highly amused by the fact that everyone in my office who actually has voted (all but two of us) is actually wearing the "I voted!" sticker. I'm wearing mine because I wanted to make sure my boss knew that that was why I was late. Why she's wearing one, I don't know. Maybe she genuinely wants the world to know that she voted.

This is the first mid-term election I've voted in. (Don't yell! It's the first one I've been eligible to, except for the one in 2002 and I wasn't registered then because I was a lazy college student.) It definitely is the first election I've felt like my vote counted. Voting in 2004 in Tennessee was kind of a protest vote. I still did it, but I knew Bush was going to win the state no matter what I did. Funny how I moved from one of the most competitive states now to another. I'm glad. I can't be hitting myself in the head for changing my voter registration from Tennessee to Virginia because either state could be swayed by my vote. I HAVE THE POWER!!!

Testy Goodness

So the test... It's just a load of crap. I mean, honestly, admission people. Do you really think you are learning ANYTHING about me from my scores on this test? Because, really, you're not. Instead, you are learning how good I am at taking tests. And guessing. I guessed a lot. Luckily, most of them were educated guesses. There were definitely some random, "I feel like the answer must be x" guesses, but most I could eliminate at least one or two options. The good thing is, though, I walked out of there thinking that I could not have studied more and done any better than I did. The majority of the questions were based on identification and unless you had read those exact novels by the authors, you probably weren't going to know the right answer for sure. So I did how I did and it's just going to have to be good enough.

It was very sweet, though. SB drove me down to the test on Saturday morning and waited on me while I took it. Which meant that I got that much more time to review what exactly an alexandrine is (a line of iambic hexameter) and who used it the most (Spencer). And it means he had to get up MUCH earlier than he usually does on Saturdays. Afterwards we went to Cracker Barrel, where my beloved apple dumpling was not on the menu... Stupid seasonally switching over to pies. Cracker Barrel, pie does NOT equal dumpling. The dumpling has so much more lovely crust and cinnamon goo and struesel... It's just delicious. And now I have to wait for January. Hmph.

Stupid people...

Well, it is now the 11th hour. Tomorrow is the day, people. Tomorrow I shall attack the test from hell!!! I'm not worried... not worried at all... even though my studying plans totally failed and I'm going to spend a good portion of the night curled up with my Norton and my dictionary of literary terms. It'll be great...

I have decided that living in a big city might have been a bad step. Why? Because I used to be nice. I used to always give people the benefit of the doubt. And now? Now I hate them all. HATE. Woman who shoved her arm into my waist so she could push by me and get to the metro stairs an eighth of a second faster? Hate her. Almost hit her with my paper. Stupid people who won't move on the metro? Hate them. The numerous men who are complete snots and push in front of me constantly? They are horrible and I hope they die a bitter, lonely death. I mean, I'm not saying they have to let me go first. That would be chivalrous, but I understand that the metro is crowded at rush hour and people have places to go. I'm just saying that they should not shove in front of me when it is clearly. my. turn. I do have to say, though, that ethnic men around here are much more likely to be courteous than white guys. Shame on you, white men!

I'm also not so sure anymore that I really want to be a full member of the DC blogging community. I keep trying to find bloggers that I really like and there are only a few. And I read some of the rest, but they are so full of drama and snobbery and hate. It just seems like so many of them are sitting there, thinking they are so cool and judging everyone else. It's just not my bag, baby...

Secretly Crazy

Oi. I may be saying that because Emily used to all the time and she and I joined a bookclub together last night in my dream. Or I could be saying it because I have spent the whole day running around, trying to get things set for the next couple of days for my boss and coworkers. Or I could be saying it because Cassie decided to wake me up at 2:45 crying (I think her stomach hurt. She later used the litterbox and then promptly fell asleep.) and again at 6 (I think she just wanted me to get up and play with her). On top of which, I didn't get to bed until later because SB's friend from home was in town and we wound up chatting at an ice cream place in Old Town until late. But I shall still be good and go to the gym!

SB's friend and I did have an interesting conversation about blogs. He was talking about how he and his friend found the blogs of two of the girls in his small group. He was amused by how the crazy came out in their blogs, as opposed to the calm, collected girls they usually were. I only kind of understand trying to hide the crazy. Like there was that episode of Scrubs where Eliott was trying to pretend she was normal for the guy she was dating. And she almost exploded and then, when she did act like herself, it was a big turn-on for him because she was finally letting him into her. I can honestly say, I never really tried to hide those things from SB. Because let's face it. I can only hide it for so long. If he's going to find out eventually, why not get it over with? It's like my weirdness. The only thing that hides my weirdness is my shyness. It took my former coworkers several months to find out how strange I am. And then they realized and were entertained. I do try not to be TOO weird at work. Which, actually, I kind of miss. There aren't that many people I'm comfortable being truly weird around here. And it's fun. I find myself highly entertaining.

Family friendly

Sigh. This weekend reminded me of many things. The first being that I love my family. You have gone so long without an update from me courtesy of my family reunion. My mom's side of the family (minus our two internationals - my two aunts, one of whom I have never met) all joined up in this huge condo in Myrtle Beach. This place was freaking crazy. We had 11 people there. We had two queen-size beds empty AND two pull-out couches. There was a tv in every room. There was a game room with an arcade style game, where my brother spent hours trying to get the top score on Ms. Pacman. Seriously. He was crazy-good at it. Didn't get it, but still. My mom brought me and my sister-in-law kits to knit baby hats. And no, that was not a clue, though my s.i.l. thought it was at first. There is a knitting campaign because apparently thousands of babies who die every year could be saved if they had a warm hat to wear. Her kit was cute. She had those plastic envelopes and inside was a box with sewing needles (to finish the hats), scissors, and a tape measure. She also had three sizes of knitting needles and printed instructions for three different hats. It was all very organized. And I did teach SB how to knit, so now, as soon as he learns how to purl, he has to knit a baby hat. And my family in general is just hilarious. I about died during our rounds of Catchphrase, mainly because sometimes, people were just SO bad at it.

I also remembered how much I love the ocean. It's so soothing and relaxing. You look at it and it makes you feel small. And it was late enough so there weren't tons of people. I should visit the sea more.

Kids and stuff

You know it's sad when a five-year-old starts hinting that it's time for you to get married. So, this weekend was family overload. My brother, sister-in-law, and s-i-l's family was all in town, as was SB's sister, niece, nephew, and mom. So I got to juggle all of them. Nearly literally in some cases, as his niece is 5 and his nephew is 2 and they decided I was their new toy. They were cute and I didn't mind, but by the end of Saturday, I was so tired I could hardly move. PLUS this weekend was Cassie's vaccination and therefore, I got ot be worried that she was having a reaction while running around town.

SB's mom also bothers me, in that she states things entirely too bluntly. Such as telling me and SB that if we got married, SB's sister would make us the guardians for the kids rather than her and SB's dad. I know that she is where the five-year-old got the idea to question me about when I was going to get married. It just harkens back to the first time I met all his family and they were all welcoming me. We'd only been dating like 4 months. Totally freaked me out.

I was entertained, though, by the fact that both SB and I decided, due to the madness of this weekend, that we don't want to have kids for a very long time. And my S-i-L and I talked about having kids someday (obviously NOT together), and that was a little weird, too. It was interesting to see her going through the same type of thigns I went through when she and my brother got engaged. Because I like her, I really do, and I'm glad that I was in the wedding. On the other hand, though, I didn't know her THAT well, and it's kind of awkward because she's becoming a part of your family and you want to make her feel welcome, but it's still all weird. Also the mother of the bride gave the bride feathery sex shoes, and I thought that was weird, too. NOT the relationship I have with my family, I can tell you that...